Page 35 of Forsaken

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Page 35 of Forsaken

The implications were almost too much for me to handle. From the moment I’d opened the door last night to see Eli standing on the other side, his expression pained and desperate and a reflection of what I’d been struggling with myself in the three days since I’d last seen him, I’d pretended all the reasons I should send him away didn’t exist and I’d let him in. I hadn’t been lying when I’d told Eli that I’d tried to leave Seattle. The second I’d gotten on my Harley every morning, I’d felt a rush of relief go through me. But it had only lasted mere minutes and as I’d put the city skyline behind me, the knot of anxiety had begun to build and build until I could focus on nothing but the need to get back to Eli. I’d purposefully not checked in with Ronan about who was watching Eli and if they’d seen anything suspicious. And when Daisy had called me yesterday morning to talk to me about the progress she was making with cleaning up Caleb’s voicemail, I’d told her to talk to Ronan and had hung up on her before she could question me. I’d both dreaded and hoped that Eli would reach out to me and I’d hated myself for it. Because it put me right back on the reservation with my grandfather. I was once again a confused, lonely, desperate kid trying to figure out how to make a man look at him with something other than disdain in his eyes.

I felt Eli’s fingers begin trailing back and forth along my arm where I was holding him. His fingers stopped on the abrasion on my forearm and I felt his head tilt so he could look at the place where his teeth had marked me. I’d been out of control when I’d been fucking Eli a few short hours ago. There was just no way else to describe it. Feeling the heat of his welcoming body surrounding my naked flesh had just been too much. Add in the knowledge that I’d be branding him as mine and I hadn’t stood a chance in hell of keeping myself separate from him. I’d needed everything from him as I’d made our bodies one. Every touch, every whispered plea…I’d been desperate to make sure he’d held nothing back from me as I’d shown him the rightness of our being together. And then I’d filled him and it still hadn’t been enough.

Eli gently caressed the abrasion for a minute and then he was carefully pulling free of my hold. I released him and expected him to look at me, but he didn’t. He sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed and stared out the window for a long time before finally standing up. I couldn’t take my eyes from his beautiful body as he walked to the window and pushed back the curtains enough to look outside. He stood there for a while before taking a deep breath and turning back in my direction. His eyes connected with mine, but he didn’t speak. Disappointment flooded my gut as I watched him begin to collect his clothes. Once he was fully dressed, I waited for him to walk out of the room. I wasn’t sure if he was going to even say goodbye as he left, but as much as I wanted to curl up on my side and close my eyes so I wouldn’t have to watch him go, I forced myself to keep looking at him.

No way in hell was I going to let him see that I felt like my insides were being torn apart.

But once Eli had dragged his socks on, he didn’t reach for his shoes. Instead he kept his gaze on me as he walked to my side of the bed and sat down. I held my breath as he reached out to skim his fingers across my cheek. Then he leaned down and brushed his mouth over mine in a chaste kiss.

“Morning,” he said quietly, a small smile gracing his beautiful lips.

“Morning,” I managed to return even though my insides were knotted so tight, I could barely breathe. A gentle brush off was a thousand times worse than a quick dismissal.

Eli kept his hand on my face and his thumb stroked back and forth over my cheek. There was a dreamy, contented look in his eyes that I both loved and hated. I didn’t want this to be fucking easy for him.

“I have to go let Baby out,” Eli finally said as he lowered his hand from my face and placed it alongside my body so he was hovering over me.

I was going to bite out a dismissive comment, but I held my tongue and merely nodded.

Eli leaned down and held his lips just above mine. “Will you come with me?” he whispered.

I couldn’t find my voice to respond to that because my brain was too busy telling me it was some kind of trick. He’d gotten what he wanted – we both had. Yeah, he’d begged me last night not to leave him, but that had been in the throes of passion. Things were different in the light of day.

They were always different.

“We could go have some breakfast,” Eli continued. He seemed to struggle for a moment before saying “Please Mav, I don’t want this to end yet.”

Yet.

Because it would have to sometime.

I knew I was only prolonging the inevitable, but I nodded anyway and as soon as Eli’s lips brushed mine, I felt the panic leave my body. When Eli tried to pull back, I snagged my hand around the back of his head and held him there while I plundered his mouth. The same neediness that had driven Eli the night before had now invaded me and I sat up, taking Eli with me. I dragged him against me as I kissed him over and over and he didn’t hesitate to kiss me back. I wasn’t sure if he sensed my internal struggle, but as my need for him grew, his hand slipped under the blanket and closed around my dick. I gasped against his mouth and held there as he began gently jerking me off. Emotion coursed through me as he stroked me over and over. He acted like we had all the time in the world and he never once reached for his own dick. At some point I grabbed his face with both my hands and for the life of me I couldn’t let him go as I pressed our foreheads together. My breathing began to grow heavy as Eli continued his sensual torment and as the orgasm slowly built, I closed my eyes. Neither of us spoke and Eli never once tried to escape the hold I had on him.

It was all about me.

For the first time in my whole goddamn life, I was being put first.

I let out a ragged moan as I came and I couldn’t contain the harsh sob that escaped me. I managed to keep the tears that threatened at bay, but as I loosened my hold on Eli, I felt his free hand close around the back of my head as his lips skimmed my forehead. His other hand was still gently stroking my dick, drawing out my pleasure as my body tingled with sensation. I had no idea how long he held me like that for before his lips gently pressed against mine. “Let’s take a shower,” he suggested.

I managed a nod and could only watch in satisfaction as he lifted his hand to his mouth and licked my cum off of it before grabbing my lax hand and pulling me to my feet. As we began walking towards the bathroom, Eli reached behind his neck with his free hand to pull his shirt off, but when it came time for me to release his other hand long enough so that he could get rid of the shirt, I actually struggled to loosen my fingers enough to let go of him even for a second.

God, I was so fucked.

“We’re finally sharing a meal together,” Eli said with a chuckle as he bit into the bagel that was loaded with generous amounts of cream cheese.

I smiled and took a sip of my coffee. “I was really looking forward to those enchiladas,” I said.

Eli’s eyes held mine as they turned serious. “Tonight,” he said. “I can make them at your place.”

My place.

Fuck, why did I like the sound of that so much? And why did the idea of spending another night with Eli – a date night no less – sound like the best fucking idea I’d ever heard?

My throat felt too tight to speak so I nodded. Eli’s wide smile was like a balm to my soul.

“I have a shift at the hospital this afternoon, but I can be at the hotel by six.”

I picked at the blueberry muffin I’d ordered as I nodded again, but then I said, “Maybe I’ll come with you. Visit with Matty for a bit.” I glanced up to see Eli still smiling.