"Because this isn't a job. This is you," Josh huffed out a laugh. "I waited. I expected your crush to die off. It just…"
"Never did?" I offered him a wry smile. "He was…" I tried to think of a way to explain it. "Like vanilla ice cream."
"What?"
"Peter is like cheap vanilla ice cream. Unoffensive, yummy, a fall back. He's safe."
"And I'm?" Josh asked.
"Dark chocolate. Raspberry. Chili-chocolate." I leaned over, putting a hand on his thigh. "You were deliciously indulgent and not for me."
"Why?" He leaned into me, his eyes burning.
"Because you’re gorgeous. You’re smart. Ambitious. You’re so far above me that it’s like…" I shrugged. "You never looked at me because you knew I'd never get out from under my parents' thumb. You were going places and I was staying put."
"I always looked at you."
I laughed, "Oh really? So, Lauren and Kylie and Tiffany and Sophie and Huda and Kiki and Imani and-"
He held up a hand, shaking his head, "Jesucristo, yeah so I had some girlfriends." His gorgeous eyes met mine. "We all get lonely."
"But you never did anything. Never. Not once. I didn't even know you felt that way until the speed date."
"Truth? No one wants to be second choice. I didn't want to be your back-up. I wanted you to choose me."
I opened my mouth then snapped it shut. I could appreciate that.
"You undersell yourself, you know." Josh inched closer to me. "You’re so much more than they all said you could be. The charities, the people you help. You could have settled, been another rich daddy’s girl waiting to marry the first rich guy who winked at you. Popping out a few kids and handing them off to nannies to raise." His hand covered mine, thumb rubbing across my knuckles. "You care. You’re kind. It’s so rare in our circles to find someone genuine. Despite all of the backbiting, the cattiness, you rose up. You did the right thing – leaving that dick. I know how hard that was for you, people calling you names, muttering under their breath. Yet I’ve rarely heard you say a bad word."
I rolled my eyes. "Just because I don’t say it aloud doesn’t mean I’m not thinking it."
"You’ve never sabotaged anyone. Even when Bess was flaunting Pete in front of you and chasing off every guy who sniffed around you, you were still a good friend."
I blinked. "What?"
"You didn’t notice?"
"I… no. How’d she chase them off?"
"She told them you were planning to be a nun."
I blinked. "Are you-what?"
"Sam was pissed when he found out."
"When?"
"Just before you went to Cancun. She’d been undermining you for years but no whispers had gotten back to us. Not ‘til we went to a party at the Denver house. Some cocky bastard was bragging about how he was going to nail the virgin. Dropped your name," his mouth quirked. "Sam may have held him while I punched."
My brother was too damn protective. Bless him.
"I never knew." It reframed my whole friendship with Bess. With Pete too.
Josh's fingers slipped under my chin, lifting my face. "So, what now?"
I searched his face, seeking… something. I found it in his eyes, his smile, the intensity of his focus on me.
"You love me."
