Eight. Teen.
By this stage it had to be justifiable homicide. No judge could blame me. Not after the horrors of this outing.
I'd innocently assumed I'd be accompanying the happy couple plus Josh.
Oh no. No no no no no.
They'd hired a stretch hummer.
The Greenfeld clan, the Kirkson Family (complete with Grandmother Kirkson and her three chihuahua's), two wedding planners, a videographer (actively recording this horror show) and a make-up artist had all packed into the hummer as we toured venue after venue.
I leaned into Josh, polite smile firmly in place as Grandma Kirkson slipped on her dust glove. "Please tell me this is a horrible dream which I will awake from shortly."
He leaned in, teeth bared in what could sort of be called a smile. "Nope. You're in this nightmare with me, Pecas."
Granny raised her gloved finger. "Dust!" She whirled, pinning the venue coordinator with a frosty glare. "What kind of garbage joint you runnin' here? Dust? Get in the car, Bessie. We're leavin'."
This is how we ended up at venue nineteen.
"It's now justifiable homicide, right?" Josh whispered as we pulled up.
"Hundred percent." I whispered back. "You got any arsenic on you?"
"Nope, but I'm good with my hands. You take the grandmother, I'll take Pete."
I glared at him. "You know full well she conceal carries. I'm not taking that on."
He shot me a grin and a wink as we exited the hummer.
We stepped through the doors and Bess' body language immediately changed. My hand snaked out, fingernails digging into Josh's bicep.
"This is it!" I hissed, bouncing up and down excitedly. "She loves it."
His head swiveled to take in Bess' starstruck expression. "Thank fuck."
A hand smacked the back of his head, sending him pitching forward.
"Language." His mother barked, stepping past us.
Mr. Greenfeld shook his head, shooting us a sympathetic grimace. "Your brother owes me a case of beer. I didn't sign up for this nonsense. Nineteen fuc-" he swallowed his curse at his wife's warning glare. "-er-fudging venues."
Josh and I shot each other an amused look before looking away, grinning.
The venue consisted of a roof top fairy garden and towering Cinderella ballroom complete with pure crystal chandelier. Ostentatious, over the top, just this side of classy, it practically screamed Bess.
"This is it," she whispered, slowly circling under the chandelier while the videographer filmed. "This is where we're getting married."
Pete pulled her in, "Book it, cariño." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Anything you want."
I grinned, watching Bess throw herself into Pete's arms. They were truly adorable. Any angst I'd had at their announcement had now passed, leaving behind only warm affection.
"Ah, mis queridos!" Josh's mother purred, pulling them both into a hug. I looked away, glancing around the beautiful room.
"Oh, Jesucristo," Josh choked out, raising a fist to his mouth.
"Wha- oh crap."
Off to the side, one of Granny's chihuahua's had squatted on the carpet, leaving behind a little gift.
