“And I’ve heard enough of this bullshit.”
“It’s not bullshit, it’s how I’m feeling,” I say, my voice rising as anger starts to flood me. “Don’t dismiss it, Nate, because I’ve spent my whole life ignoring the things I feel in order to make sure others are happy instead of myself.”
My words hang in the air between us, silence ensuing.
“You finished?” he asks, and I nod because it seems that I have nothing left to say. I’ve said what I need to, I’ve told him my truth, so now I just have to wait for his words.
“Good. My turn,” he says as he holds my stare. “Firstly, I’m not dismissing how you’re feeling, Kat, but it actually fucking pains me to hear you talk about leaving, that you think you don’t belong here,” he says with a scoff. “Me. It pains me, a man who rips others apart and sends pieces to their loved ones because no fucker screws with me.”
My eyes widen a little. Send pieces to their loved ones… Jesus Christ.
“I am no angel; I’ve done some bad shit and I will continue to be an asshole to those that do me wrong. I make no apologies for the way I do things; I own it and live with it because I’ve spent a lifetime in this world. I know how it works, I know the deal, and I know how to handle myself.
“But then you came along. And you know what, Kat? You scare me to fucking death.”
“Me?” I say, surprised.
“Yes. You. Because as much as I am a hard bastard to everyone else, I know that you make me a better man. You make me feel too, Kat. You make me want to do right by you. My first thought every morning is you. My last thought at night is you. And every other fucking thought in-between is you.
“You don’t let me walk all over you, you push me, you challenge me, and you drive me fucking insane, but I didn’t realise that I needed that until you started doing it.
“I know this isn’t the life you envisioned, but know this… If you ever try to leave, I will stop you. If you manage to get away, I will find you. And if you push me away, I’ll push back just as hard.
“So, whatever fucked-up thoughts are going through your head right now and making you think that you don’t belong by my side need to be dealt with. You do belong. You are home, Kat. Always.”
My mouth feels dry, words stripped away from me. What do you say to a man that has just bared his soul to you when all he’s done previously is hide himself too?
Were we always destined to find one another?
Is this where fate had been leading both of us?
To each other?
To a different happy ever after than I have envisioned?
“Nate,” I whisper as I move my hands to his chest, placing them on his pecs and feeling his heart racing underneath the surface. Just like mine is. Racing, hoping, wanting it all to be true.
He moves his hand from beside me and places his over my heart too, feeling the same thump that I’m feeling beneath his skin.
“That right there,” he starts, nodding his head towards my chest. “That is what makes us different. That is how we know we are meant to be. That thump, that adrenaline, that fire that we live and breathe when we’re together. That’s us, baby.”
Oh my God.
I feel like my whole world just exploded into an array of colour. It’s like I’ve had tunnel vision for years and now I’ve woken up to what is around me.
“You’re mine, and I’m yours.”
I’m his.
He’s mine.
Fuck.
Do I let myself relish in the hope that is springing to life in my chest? The hope that I can do this, be the person he deserves, be his other half.
Do I let myself fall so completely that I wouldn’t be able to breathe without him?
“But what if it all gets too much? What if I can’t deal with it?” I ask, because it’s a nagging thought that I know won’t go away quietly.
