Page 37 of Sin of Love
Fear trickles down my spine, exacerbated by the beginnings of opiate withdrawal. I ignore my body’s alarms, my spinning thoughts. Showing weakness right now will only provoke him.
So I smile. “Of course you don’t trust me. I’ve tried to kill you twice. But you’ve tried to kill me a few times, too, so…” I shrug. “Either we stop counting or one of us finally succeeds, right? We both know we’ll never stop trying.”
As expected, he laughs heartily. His charisma hasn’t dimmed over the years, and before long my lips twitch with the urge to share his mirth. When he’s laughing, it’s hard to remember he’s the Devil.
“Ah, Deirdre,” he sighs out, dabbing the corners of his eyes. “I really don’t know how I lived so long without you. You’re truly my counterpoint. The light to my dark.”
The smile on my face vanishes. My lips go numb, my fingers cold.
“Whatever you’ve come from, whatever you’ve lived through, I don’t care. I’m not afraid of your dark.”
“But what if I am?” I whisper. “Afraid of the darkness inside me?”
He kisses my forehead, murmuring against my skin, “Then I’ll set the world on fire to bring you light.”
Thankfully, Julep has turned toward the bedroom and misses my blind lunge for something to hold on to. Gripping the edge of a gaudy console, I screw my eyes shut and beat back the memories climbing the walls of my mind.
But I’m not fast enough, well enough, awake enough, and they hit with the force of a kick to the gut.
Paint splatter. Turpentine.
Tiny freckles on the backs of strong, sinewy hands.
Cinnamon and clove.
A ridiculous haircut.
Mon bijou—my treasure.
His eyes on me. Seeing through me.
I want to see you, all of you…
Sweat like nectar.
Kiss like a sledgehammer.
I’m not afraid of your dark.
Tree-root arms keeping me safe.
Safe—
A wail of longing and pain shoots up my esophagus. I grab my neck with both hands, clamping down on my airway, squeezing with all my strength.
No matter what, I can’t let that terrible sound free.
“Stop, miss. Stop!”
My arms are wrenched downward. I gasp air, sagging into Paulo’s grip. Oh God, Julep. I immediately jerk upright and search for him, my mind scrambling for an explanation that will appease him.
But I’m no longer in Julep’s bedroom.
My breath grows ragged and short. “What… I don’t—” I bite off more words, realizing swiftly that finishing my thought will only land me back in the lair of the Devil.
This isn’t the first incident of time acting strangely, but this is the first time I’ve lost more than a few seconds. I have zero memory of leaving Julep’s or walking to the opposite end of the hallway to my own suite, the door of which is directly ahead of us.
Silent laughter shakes my shoulders. Fucking karma. All I wanted for so long was to escape the past. Now, the past is my only solace and it’s the future I want to avoid. But tiiiime…
