“I told you a lot has changed. You really need to learn to listen better,” he plays, and I find myself grinning once more.
“I guess this is something else I need to thank you for - along with the shirt,” I murmur while tugging lightly on the ends of the white shirt.
“You’re welcome,” he says with a smug smirk, and then he forks a bite of the delicious food he has cooked. “I’ll have all of your stuff brought over.”
I swallow the bite in my mouth so hard it almost hurts, and then I wince as I turn to him.
“I can’t stay here with you. If there aren’t any other rooms available, then I need to stay with another girl or Clay maybe. This - you and me - it’s painful, and I’m still not over the past no matter how incredible you keep making yourself look. I spent a long time with you, Hale.”
He sighs out, and takes another bite before turning back to me with pain tinting his perfectly light eyes.
“Was I really that bad?” he asks pitifully.
I really feel like a piece of shit again now.
“No. You were actually amazing… when you were there. Until the last two years of our relationship, you were the best thing I could have imagined. Then you started disappearing more and more, and you never told me the truth about where you were going. I spent six months thinking you were cheating on me. I spent the other eighteen months thinking you were done with me, but you didn’t know how to tell me. It sucked,” I murmur wearily as all those painful memories flood back.
He exhales loudly, and then he pulls my barstool closer so that my knees are between his legs.
“Araya, I never cheated on you. I never wanted to spend a minute away from you. I sure as hell didn’t want out. I loved you more than I ever showed you, and that’s where I fucked up the worst. I wish I could go back and fix it, but I can’t. I’d love a fresh start though.”
The sincerity in his tone leaves me with chill bumps.
“It wasn’t the blood,” I mumble, and then I turn away with tears in my eyes.
“What wasn’t?” he asks with bemusement.
“Earlier, when we were… you know… it wasn’t the blood the last time. I wasn’t under the effects,” I whimper out.
He sighs out loudly, and then takes a sip of his drink before saying, “I know.”
“Then why did you say I was? I thought you were playing it honest.”
“I wasn’t lying to you to hide anything or be deceitful. I could tell you felt guilty, and I didn’t want you hating me.”
His eyes stare down at the plate he appears to be done with, and I stand up to wrap my arms around him. He pulls me tightly to his body, and I kiss his cheek before pulling back.
“Thank you, but this still can’t work. Please do one more thing for me, and I swear I’ll stop asking for stuff,” I murmur as I stare into the glistening eyes anxiously awaiting the words about to come out of my mouth.
“You haven’t asked me for anything yet, and I’ll do anything you want me to,” he says, and his grip tightens around my waist.
“You have to stop chasing after me. I want to be friends with you because I think you really have changed somewhat, but I can’t go through what I already did… ever again. That possibility will always haunt me, and I would rather us try this arrangement in order to keep me from having to leave. I don’t have a home, friends, or anything else to go back to right now, so I sort of have to stay here. If you can’t just be my friend, I’ll have to leave.”
He tightens his lips, and then his arms release me when he hears the bomb I just dropped.
“Okay. I told you I would do anything, and if this is what you want, then okay.”
I can hear the pain tickling the back of his throat, and he stands to toss the rest of his food into the trash before gently placing the plate in the sink.
“Thank you,” I murmur, and now that he’s acting a little icier, I almost regret saying anything.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
He forces a smile, and then he heads to the bedroom. Within a breath, he walks back out with a pillow and blanket to make a bed on the couch.
“So I am sleeping on the couch now,” I tease.
“No,” he snickers out, “I am. You take the bed, and leave the door open so I can hear you if you need me.”
