I’m on the verge of tears, and it’s all I can do to keep standing up right now. My mind becomes overwhelmed with all the good destroyed by all the bad.
“He missed my birthday party,” I say very casually.
“Birthday party?” she says with complete bemusement.
“Along with my award ceremonies, my rank ceremonies, and every other event he promised to attend. When he was home, he was working. Most of the time he lied to me about where he had been or what he had been doing even if I had the security clearance to hear it. My birthday party was the last straw,” I say with a sigh, and my eyes fall to her immortality promise bracelet.
“You’re not far from being turned, are you?” I ask bluntly.
“No ma’am. I have two years of the five year reconsideration period before they carry it out.”
“You’ve probably been a normal human with normal parents for the majority of you life, correct?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Then a birthday party might seem a little petty to someone like you. Let me ask you something, have they told you of what’s to come after your initial change?” I ask softly while sitting down behind the bar.
“The first twenty to thirty years I’ll have to be locked up until the rabid thirst subsides. Then I’ll be coaxed back into society,” she murmurs with very little hesitance for her bleak first years.
“Did they tell you what else would most likely happen?” I ask curiously.
“I’m not sure what you’re asking.”
I take a deep breath, and I swallow hard against the emotional knot in my throat before continuing.
“They’ll choose someone deserving of the opportunity to feed from a vein, and then they’ll come for you. You’ll feel the bite, and it’s going to feel like erotica has just exploded in your body. You’ll be completely and utterly in love until the effect wears off, and by then, you’ll already be pregnant. You’ll be unable to care for a child, so it will be up to the father to assume responsibility, or they’ll hand the child over to the United for placement. Almost always, the child is orphaned. The full blood society outside the United frowns on species mingling, and it’s not an easy task to take on.
“That child will then grow up with soldiers instead of parents, martial arts instead of playgrounds, and survival skills instead of hugs. It’s a tough life to go through, and it’s hard - very hard - to trust anyone. It’s even harder to fall in love. When someone says they’ll be there and they’re constantly not, that small, terrified child inside comes back out.
“I’ve been around a long time ago, but three years ago is the first time I’ve ever had a birthday party. Clay - Commander Jude - planned an elaborate party just for me. Everyone was invited, and I can remember crying I was so excited. Hale promised me over and over he’d be there. It’s Hale’s nature to forget what day it is, or be three hours late to a one hour event. He promised me he’d be there and be on time before leaving three days earlier on a scouting mission he didn’t have to take. He was so ambitious, and in the end, he proved he loved the job and the United more than me.
“He didn’t show up until the next morning, and he didn’t even have an excuse worth hearing. I was always there for him - any time he needed me - so it cut pretty damn deep when he couldn’t do this one thing. I finally realized he was never going to love me the way I loved him, and it nearly tore me apart. It was never really about the party, it was more about the fact he didn’t care enough about me to be there,” I murmur with a very deep explanation.
“Oh,” she sighs with a taken aback stare. “That’s so weird to hear because Captain Banner is so prompt now. I suppose it’s because he lost you due to his inability to be such,” she murmurs, and I know she’s doing her best to defend him without offending me.
“Sometimes people wait too late to change,” I sigh out.
“Did Captain Mordel have a child when he was turned?” she bluntly asks.
“No. Brazen was born a full blood. They’re a lot like us - the hybrids. They age normally until they peak, and then the change slowly sets in. It takes about seven or eight months to fully turn, and then they’re frozen n time, never aging. Unlike us though, they’re immortal, well they don’t have a span like we do rather. Hybrids have so many hundreds of years to live.”
“And yours? How long is your span?”
“I never let them test me to find out. I rather like not knowing. Since I’m a gifted hybrid, I don’t age. The ungifted do age, just much, much slower than the… your kind.”
“I’m sorry I grilled you so much,” she says with a grimace.
“It’s fine. I think the more educated you are the better. This world you want to live in, well… it has its prices for all of us. I just hope you’re ready to pay them.”
She exhales as all the crazy pieces scatter throughout her fragile mind, and then she starts to walk out the door.
“Oh,” she says while turning back around. “I almost forgot why I came in here. Captain Banner asked me to tell you that you could join him in his cabin if you got ready early. He was wanting to show you something you can only view from his room,” she says with a growing grin.
I bet he does. Smug bastard.
“Thanks Wendy,” I say softly, and then I glance over to see it’s barely a quarter after five.
I guess it wouldn’t hurt to see what he’s talking about, though my conscience immediately screams at me for considering it. Don’t go!
