We've gone through absolute hell. He was so cold, but it was never him—not the Kane I love. This is him. Night stalker or not, he loves me, and he makes me feel at peace.
"You're doing it by being here with me," I murmur as his lips lightly brush mine.
He affectionately runs his fingers through my hair, staring down at me with so much concern.
"I was going to change you," he murmurs through a sigh, making me chuckle.
"Where did that come from? And change me into what?"
His eyes avert mine as he continues running his fingers through my hair. I slip my legs around his waist, tugging him closer to draw his attention back from whatever wasteland he has gone to visit.
"I've wanted to tell you for a while. I was going to change you—into one of my kind."
I tense under him, unsure how to respond to that. On one hand, it's obvious he loves me and wants to be with me for longer than a mortal life would have allowed, but on the other, he was willing to turn me into a monster.
I'm already a monster—one possibly worse than him. He didn't know that though.
"Were you going to ask me? Offer me the chance to say yes or no?" I ask, my voice rasp.
His weight presses against me more, though he never stops running his deft fingers through my blond strands.
"I was."
He doesn't elaborate, and I think I know the reason why.
"Would you have acceptedno?"
He hesitates, which answers my question without words.
"I wish I could say I'm that noble, Alyssa. It's my nature—you know—to be possessive. I couldn't let you go. Hell, even when I pushed you away, I couldn't let you go. I had to be with you. I still do. I probably shouldn't have told you, but I don't want to keep anything from you ever again."
I breathe out hard, silently digesting and sorting through the facts. If I was human, I'd be appalled and ready to run. But I'm not human. I'm fey. I understand his ways, his nature. It's one of the reasons I've hated night stalkers in the past, but how can I hate the man I fell in love with?
"I really don't know how to feel about that," I mutter at last, still motionless beneath him.
"You hate it and love it," he says absentmindedly, refusing to meet my gaze, still idly playing with my hair.
He's right. "What if I had hated you the way you hate Castine?" I ask, making him grimace.
His fingers stop moving through my locks, and he finally looks at me, letting his eyes find mine, staring endlessly into my soul.
"I would have died."
My heart breaks and soars at once. This relationship is toxic and euphoric at the same time. I'm not even sure how we're supposed to make this work.
"Will you say something? Do you want to leave?" he asks when the silence grows to be suffocating.
"It's not like I can go anywhere. You're pinning me down, and my magic is useless on you," I mumble, half-grinning like the twisted freak I am.
It's not right to find any of what he said romantic, but sadly, that almost is romantic for a night stalker. I'm a witch. Though I'm starting to see how naive I am, I still know more than a human would...most of the time. I know what I'm getting into, so it's hard to judge him for being the deadly beauty he is. Especially since he's not judging me for the deadlier beauty I'm starting to become.
He grins and visibly relaxes in the next breath, and then he starts trailing kisses down my neck.
"I still want you just as much now as I did then, Alyssa," he says as he starts pulling my shirt up. "Actually, I want you even more. Don't leave me again."
I laugh, though it's not because anything is funny. It's a delirious laugh brought on by the exhaustion eating me alive.
"Something funny?" he asks, leaning back, seeming wounded.
