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Iwoke with my arms wrapped around Zach. His back was pressed snug against my chest and his breathing was even. I nuzzled my nose into his hair and breathed in deeply, smiling as his familiar sweet scent filled my senses. I’d woken just like that, nearly every day for the last two weeks and each time, it brought a smile to my face.
Something significant had occurred between us Memorial Day weekend. Making love with him had strengthened the bond that already existed between us. I felt closer to him than anyone else in my life, including Brandon.
I’d never felt that way before, even with the few men I’d considered boyfriends. With them, it had been more about the sex and having someone to hang out with on the weekends. But with Zach, it was completely different. Of course, the sex was phenomenal, but I was just as happy on the nights when we lay in bed, arms and legs wrapped around each other, whispering in the dark.
I felt like there was nothing I could say to him that he wouldn’t understand. Except, of course, for the one thing I was terrified to tell him; my real reason for being there. Guilt hung off me like a cloak. I was lying to everyone; Zach, Edith, and Micah. I hadn’t even told Brandon what was really going on, although I was pretty sure he suspected.
Still, the selfish part of me wanted more time with Zach before I either had to move on and continue my search or tell him why I was really there and take him back to Micah. A couple of times, I’d seen a look in Zach’s eyes that made me wonder. If I found out he wasn’t Zane and I had to move on, would he be willing to go with me? But then I’d picture how peaceful he seemed when we sat by the lake, looking out over the water, and I knew I could never ask him to give that up. He’d been through a lot in his life, that much was evident, and he deserved to stay in a place that brought him peace.
Even though he hadn’t told me the depths of it yet, I could tell that there were things in his past that had been very traumatic. His reaction to the fight at the lake that night proved it. I wanted to ask him about it, about his reaction and the events that had led up to his mother’s death, but I didn’t. If he was going to open up to me about all of that, I wanted him to do it in his own way, in his own time.
Through it all, I still was no closer to figuring out if he was really Zane Wilkinson. The file I had on him only included the hospital reports and the photo of the boy, who looked nothing like Zach other than the hair and the eyes. Even the scarring around Zach’s eye could’ve been the result of Zane’s injuries and subsequent surgery, but it was difficult to say. The plastic surgeon’s notes clearly stated that Zane’s face had been horribly disfigured when he arrived at the hospital and was still too swollen when he checked himself out to determine how much the surgeries would’ve altered his appearance.
There was also nothing in Zane’s file about losing his mother to an overdose or about him having a brother, so the things that Zach had told me about himself hadn’t helped me to prove anything one way or another.
I kissed Zach gently on the shoulder and carefully climbed out of bed, so I wouldn’t wake him. It was still early, and I wanted him to get some more sleep before we had to start work. I gathered my clothes and went into his bathroom to get dressed. I brushed my teeth with the extra toothbrush I’d left there and sprayed some of Zach’s deodorant under my arms.
My head had begun to pound, a product of the guilt and frustration I was feeling, so I grabbed a couple of ibuprofen tablets out of his medicine cabinet and washed them down with some water from the faucet. When I was finished, I slipped out of his cabin and began my morning run.
An hour later, I walked inside my cabin and peeled my sweaty clothes off, tossing them into the dirty laundry hamper. I started the shower and climbed in before it even had the chance to warm up. Usually, running helped clear my mind, allowing me to work out problems, but it had failed to help that time and I was left feeling more frustrated than ever.
I knew that once Zach found out, I would have to either leave him in peace or leave because he hated me. Both outcomes left me feeling like I was going to cry, or throw up, or both. No! My heart refused to even consider that. One way or another, I would have to make him understand that I didn’t do any of it to hurt him. And if he wanted to stay at the lake, then I would quit my job and stay there too, because walking away from him simply wasn’t an option.
I finished washing and then climbed from the shower and got dressed for work. When I was ready, I went to the kitchen and began making breakfast for me and Zach. I fried up some bacon and eggs with cheese and assembled them on toast for sandwiches. Then I poured some orange juice into a thermos and wrapped the sandwiches up in butcher paper.
It was a gorgeous morning, so I decided to walk over to his cabin instead of driving. I knocked on his door and heard him holler for me to come on in. I could hear him moving around in his room, so I laid the food on the table and went off in search of him.
“There you are, sleepyhead,” I teased.
Zach was still getting dressed, so I propped my shoulder against the doorframe and settled in to enjoy the view. I’d missed him pulling on his shorts but arrived just in time to see his bare chest and washboard stomach. He had several faded scars along his body and while I’d never asked him about them, I’d taken the time one night to kiss each and every one.
At first, he looked like he might bolt, and I’d worried that I’d crossed a line. But then, I’d watched as the look in his eyes changed, almost as if he couldn’t believe I was real and I knew that I’d done the right thing by going with my instincts.
Zach finished pulling his T-shirt over his head and looked up at me with a shy smile. I thought it was completely adorable that after everything we’d already done together, he would still feel shy around me.
“Hey! I’m sorry. I didn’t even hear you get up this morning. I must’ve been sleeping hard,” he said.
I stepped into the room and put my hands on his waist, pulling him towards me. It was still such a rush for me to be allowed to do that. I bent my head and nuzzled my nose into his neck, breathing in his fresh, clean scent. He scrunched his neck up as I found a ticklish spot and I smiled at the sound of his laughter.
“That’s okay. You needed the rest. Maybe I should stay away tonight so you can get a good night’s sleep,” I suggested.
“No!” Zach cried, wrapping his arms around my neck and bringing our foreheads together. “I don’t want to sleep without you by my side.”
My heart stuttered at his words. There had been several times when I’d seen a look in his eyes that made me think that Zach felt the same way I did, that he might possibly care about me as much as I cared about him. But he’d never said anything like this before and it made me feel like I’d just won the lottery. I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him soundly, letting my lips convey the depths of my feelings for him. His eyes were unfocused by the time we ended the kiss and I smiled at him.
“I will spend every night with you, for as long as you want me there,” I whispered.
Zach nodded his head and backed away, clearing his throat. “We better get going before I strip you down and throw you back on that bed.”
“Ah, come on. That sounds like a much better idea,” I begged.
I groaned as he ran his palm over the bulge in my shorts. “If you work hard today, I promise to play very hard with you tonight.” He tossed me a wink and a teasing grin and then walked out of the room, leaving me with an aching cock and a serious case of blue balls.
We spent the day mowing the grass, weed-eating around the edges of the water and swimming in the lake as we trimmed the tall, reedy grasses that tended to ensnarl fishing lines. We joked with each other and flirted just enough to keep desire vibrating under the surface of our skin throughout the day. By the time we drove over to my cabin after work, neither one of us could keep our hands off each other.
We crashed through the front door, kissing as if our lives depended on it and I turned him, pressing his back against the wall. I ground my hips against him, rubbing our clothed cocks together as we clawed at each other, trying to get our clothes off as quickly as possible.
When we were fully naked, I lifted him up and he wrapped his legs around me as I carried him down the hallway to the bathroom. I set him down long enough to turn on the shower and then I pulled him under the water with me. We took turns soaping each other, the feel of slick hands running over bare skin only serving to increase our desire.
