Page 85 of Big & Bossy
I steeled my jaw. Am I that much of an open book? She was wrong. “You can’t say that.”
“So you moved to Boulder.” She shrugged, wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands, streaking mascara. “And you hired me. It’s not like you were trying to control the outcome of that.”
“But you’re wrong,” I bit out. I curled my fingers into fists, needing the sting of the pain of my nails sinking into my palm. “I’m no better, Mandy. Everything, all of this,” I motioned with my hands, encompassing the entirety of the situation, “was because I planned it. Do you genuinely believe I moved my business to Boulder because of the booming tech industry? If that was all I wanted, I could’ve gone to Silicon Valley. I could’ve positioned myself among the top tech companies out there, next to Apple and Microsoft and Google. But I chose Boulder. I chose Boulder because of you.”
From the corner of my eye I could see her eyes blinking. “What are you saying?”
“You know what I’m saying.”
She dropped her gaze to her keyboard. I could almost hear the gears turning in her head, working it out, putting me in a cage just like Harry would be in.
“I’ll make you a coffee. Let you… think,” I sighed, turning my sights on the break room.
————
When I came back with two mugs full of fresh coffee, Mandy had moved to the waiting area of the office. Her knee bounced incessantly, rattling the little table in front of her. The closer I got, she shifted farther over on the sofa.
“Are you asking me to sit with you? Or are you backing away from me?” I asked, the words strained as I set down our cups on the small wooden coasters.
“You can sit with me,” she mumbled. Her eyes were set on the coffee in front of her, too dazed to even look in my direction.
I sucked in a breath as I sat down beside her . The shaking in her body had calmed significantly, but I could tell just by the way she looked and moved that she felt like her skin was crawling. I just wanted to hug her, comfort her, but I couldn’t fucking do that after he’d forced himself on her.
I placed the coffee cup in her hands instead.
“You’re not like him,” she whispered. She stared straight down into the rising steam. “You’re not, even if you moved here for me.”
“I moved everything here for you,” I clarified. “Spent millions moving my campus, seeking out your business, hiring you, and ensuring you took the job.”
“You didn’t send threats against my life just to get me to stop seeing someone,” she said. Her thumb rubbed against the rim of the mug. “You didn’t kiss me when I clearly didn’t want it. I didn’t have to take your contract, either. I had other options.”
“But I made it so easy for you to fall into my lap.” The words hurt to say. I knew it was true, but admitting it, saying the quiet part out loud — I wasn’t a good person. I wasn’t as bad as Harry, but I wasn’t much better. “I reeled you in and left you hanging. I beat up your friend.”
“He deserved it. And that was because of him.”
“My actions are mine alone. I didn’t have to go about it the way I did.”
She turned to me, shifting on the couch. “Your actions should be taken in context,” she sighed, leaning farther over and resting her forehead against my shoulder. Electricity shot through me, the need for touch just a little more filled. “I’m not upset about what you did, Jack. Any of it.”
I sucked in a deep breath as I leaned back, taking her with me with a hand on the side of her head. “You should be.”
“Just because I should be doesn’t mean I am.” She leaned further in, snuggling down, and this was all I’d been wanting for weeks. Why did it have to come at her expense? “At least not right now. And right now, I need to calm down. Not be angry.”
I nodded.
We sat in silence for a few moments, her head migrating to my chest, my hand stroking her hair. I could stay like this forever, easily. The smell of her hair, the warmth of her body… I could almost pretend this was our normal. I wanted that more than anything.
“Did you really move here just because of me?” She asked, breaking the silence with a voice so small I could barely hear it.
“I did.”
“Why?”
I chuckled, squeezing her shoulders. “Because I tried to get you out of my head for ten years with no avail. I tried to move on,” I said. I hooked a finger under her chin, lifting her face so I could see her. Wide gray eyes met mine. “You have been, and will always be, the only one for me, Mandy. I wanted to prove myself to you. Still do.”
Chapter 40
Mandy
