Page 42 of Big & Bossy
“So it was a lucky guess,” Harry surmised.
I shrugged. “Maybe. We might have talked about it back in the day.”
He huffed as he stepped away. “Didn’t realize you guys were ever quite that serious,” he chuckled, double checking himself in the mirror. “I’m going downstairs to get a coffee. You guys want anything?”
“Mocha!” Amanda chimed, aiming a big smile directly at him. “I’ll Venmo you for it.”
I waited until the door shut behind him to let out my groan of frustration. “I don’t know what to fucking do, Amanda. My mind is swimming. He’s going to break my heart again. I know it. I’m?—”
“Hey, hey, calm down,” Amanda said, her hand resting on my shoulder as she looked at me with a gentle gaze. “You’re not going to let him do that because you’re not going to let it get that far.”
“I know that. But I’m having a really hard time keeping my heart out of this,” I sighed, trying to distract myself by looking for a blush. “I can’t even talk about it with Harry because he’ll just get angry. I already know what he’d say—"You’re being stupid, he’s an asshole, you’re doing this to yourself.” Yeah, I know all that. It already fucking hurts.”
“It’s okay if those feelings from ten years ago are starting to resurface. You were really into him and he broke your heart. It’s okay, Mandy. It’s natural to be feeling what you’re feeling.”
“I don’t know if I can do this,” I whispered, the backs of my eyes already beginning to burn. “Every time I’m with him, it gets easier and I just want more. It shouldn’t be like that. I should hate him.”
“But you don’t.” She stated, grabbing a tissue and dabbing it under my eyes.
“No,” I squeaked, my voice breaking. “I don’t think I do anymore.”
————
Music poured from the speakers as the three of us entered the club. At the back stood a security guard outside of a curtained, roped-off section and I knew that had to be where our party was situated.
We gave our names to the guard and he let us through, parting the curtains to a second room. Tiana stood in the center, a white, floor-length gown clinging to her body, a massive slit up the thigh. She wore a pink sash around her torso with the words ‘Bride to Be’ written in big white letters across it, and a little tiara sat atop her head.
She beamed when she saw me.
“Mandy!” She shouted, running over clumsily in her heels, throwing her arms around my neck and meeting me with nearly enough force to knock me over. I laughed as I hugged her, ten years of her absence in my life hitting me at once. “I’m so, so happy you’re here! Jack said you were coming but I didn’t believe him.”
“Of course I’m here,” I grinned, pulling back from her. “God, look at you! So grown up. You were, what, sixteen last time I saw you?”
She nodded, her broad smile so different from her usual sour demeanor. She was always happy to see me, though, and I loved that it hadn’t changed. “Yeah, sixteen. And now I’m getting married!” She squealed, releasing me to hold my hands instead. “And so are you,” she giggled, winking at me.
She was already tipsy.
“Who are your friends?” She asked, peeking over my shoulder at Amanda and Harry.
“This is Amanda,” I said as I gestured toward her. “You may have met her when you and your parents came to visit at NYU. And this is Harry, he’s my business partner. Guys, this is Tiana.”
She gave them both a hug, her smile never fading. Definitely tipsy. “It’s so nice to meet you guys,” she chimed, adjusting her tiara as it fell. “Jack told me he finally came clean to you. I’ve been telling him to do it for years but he’s still technically not allowed to talk about the whole military project thing.”
“Yeah, he told me,” I nodded, following her across the dance floor and toward the private bar.
“If he wasn’t so worried that getting back together with you would have put you in danger, he would have come for you the second he got out. He was terrified that the same thing that happened to his coworkers could happen to you,” she carried on, tacking on a quick order for three cocktails to the bartender without even asking what we wanted. “That’s why he pulled back, buried his feelings. He was so scared of putting you in harm's way he’d rather be without you than risk you getting hurt. Even if it fucking killed him.”
Harry stiffened by my side, changing his drink order with the bartender.
“I’m so happy that he found you again, though. Even if it’s different now.”
I spun the ring on my finger, my stomach churning. Hearing her talk about it solidified things in my mind. I knew he wasn’t lying, but a part of me had wanted to believe that he was. It still didn’t excuse the fact that he should have found a way to tell me after he was released. All of it was beginning to break me again, tearing down every little wall I’d built to keep him out.
“Let me introduce you to my friends!” Tiana exclaimed, knocking me out of my torrid thoughts.
————
As the night progressed and drinks were consumed, Tiana’s party devolved into slight chaos.
