“I didn’t know you were a stickler for laws,” he says. “Having sex in the woods is against the law too, you know.”
“But it doesn’t hurt anybody,” I say. “You scare people when you steal from them. And you take their property. It’s not okay.”
“What do you want us to do?” he asks, a note of amusement in his voice.
“Get jobs.”
“Cami. Come on. We’re bears, not office stiffs.”
“We’re not only bears. We’re people too. Binoculars are a human thing, and you know it. If we’re going to insist on having things we can’t get for ourselves from nature—things like bikes and spices for our foods—we need to be able to pay for them.”
“So, why don’t you get a job?”
“Maybe I will,” I say hotly, knowing perfectly well that I won’t. At least, not until the babies are a little older.
“Look,” Ryan says, “why don’t you take the binoculars to the mouth of the cave and peek out. See if you can see anything. I’d go myself, but I don’t think I can handle the belly crawl.” He hands me the binoculars. “Just don’t stick your head out or anything. Stay concealed.”
I hesitate. “You’d let me do that?”
“You’ll stay in the cave, right? They can’t get you there. They shouldn’t be outside at all anymore, and if any of them are, Luka will be right there. Just look around and see if you can get a glimpse of the action, and then come back and report to me.”
I take the binoculars, but then I pause. I want to go. I want to see what’s going on out there, to catch a glimpse of my bears and make sure they’re still in one piece. But I’m afraid. What if the news isn’t good? What if they’re already...my mind shudders away from the word. They’re still alive. They have to be.
“All right,” I agree. “I’ll take a look.” I turn toward the tunnel, but suddenly, I find I can’t move. I look back. Ryan’s hand is locked around my wrist, a confused expression on his face.
“Wait a minute,” he says.
“What?”
“Why did you hesitate?”
“What do you mean?”
“It isn’t like you. You’ve never shied away from risk before.” He looks at me carefully. “Are you still feeling sick?”
“Of course not. I told you, it was a passing thing. I’m completely fine.”
“What aren’t you telling me?”
I pull my hand out of his grip. “There’s nothing I’m not telling you.” But I can’t keep eye contact. He’ll see the lie on my face. I’ve never mastered that particular art.
“You’re lying,” he whispers. “But you haven’t been sick again. Something’s wrong, and you’re not telling us what it is....” His fingers pick at the edge of his bandage. I can see the pieces coming together in his head. There’s nothing I can do to protect my secret anymore, but I hope, with everything in me, that, somehow, he won’t figure it out. This isn’t how I wanted this to go.
“You’re pregnant,” he breathes.
I close my eyes. “I am.”
“Oh, Cami...do the others know?”
“I couldn’t tell them. Not when they were going out to fight those wolves. I couldn’t let them be distracted. And....” Can I confide in him about the rest? “I can’t stand the stealing, Ryan. The threats. Not if we’re having children. I can’t have them raised that way. I have to tell Jack I’m not okay with it, and I don’t know what he’s going to say....”
“We need the money,” Ryan points out. “If we’re going to have babies, they’ll need to see doctors. That takes money.”
“I know. You’re right. But there has to be a better way.” I bite my lip. “We really don’t have any guns, right? I can’t have them raised around guns. I can’t do that.”
“No guns,” Ryan promises. “We’re bears. We don’t need guns.”
That’s something, at least.
