Page 55 of When Hearts Collide
Something must have shown through, because he grins and sits back in his chair, his hands clasped on his lap. A position of victory because the damn bastard knows how much I want to be a tenured professor. “This program is important to us, and part of its draw is its distinguished lecturers and professors, including yourself. If you teach this course and take on the faculty adviser role for JEAP, then everything else will just be a formality.”
Tenured professor.
He’s dangling my dreams in front of me like meat to a starving bear fresh out of hibernation. A fucking shark through and through.
A muscle pulses in my jaw, and my nostrils flare. This isn’t a fair game. He had a better hand all along.
Clearly seeing my inner turmoil, Jacob’s voice softens to that of Mom’s good friend once more. “Ryland, I’ve watched you growing up. I’ve seen how your eyes sparkle when you guest lectured here every so often in the past. I’ve never seen that passion when you talk about your work at Fleur. You’re meant for academia, son. Frankly, I really need this year’s revised curriculum to succeed, and I don’t trust anyone other than you to take this seriously and carry it to fruition.”
He clears his throat. “In the last two years, like many universities, ours has had its share of scandals—large-scale student cheating, sordid affairs, bribery in the admissions office, assaults happening on campus. In the past, these cases would have been governed by the Ethics Committee of the Board. But there’s been increased scrutiny and criticism that the people in our governance committees are biased. In the last few years, folks have been clamoring for better representation. The students want to have a say in these cases.”
“That’s why you established JEAP.” Everything makes sense now.
He nods. “So, this is much more than just a class. The media and our peers have their spotlights on us. And you, Ryland, are the perfect person for the job. Impeccable reputation. Respectable family, despite the blip earlier this year with your dad and your half-sisters.”
My lips twitch at the mention of my half-sisters, Grace and Taylor, both lovely women I’ve come to know and love. Dad called a family meeting last year and told us a secret he had kept from us all these years. After Mom died, he fell in love with another woman and had a family on the side. He wanted to shield her from the curse, and so he never married her, but they broke up and lost contact when Grace was a baby and her mom was pregnant with Taylor.
It was a media shitstorm when the girls’ lineage was brought to light. A rare black mark in the Anderson name. But our family embraced Grace and Taylor as our own and since Dad didn’t commit adultery, eventually the press moved onto something else.
Jacob taps his fingers on his desk. “Your reputation is unimpeachable. Under your and Maxwell’s leadership, Fleur is frequently lauded as one of the best places to work. Even your competitors have nice things to say about you. You’re a leader of a remarkable dynasty in the country—that’s how the press describes you, and that’s what we need right now. So, I can promise you this: if you go through with the program this year, I’ll make it my duty to get you the doctorate and secure your placement on our tenure track.”
Impeccable fucking reputation. The very thing our IPO and apparently my dreams depend on. Our family can’t survive another black mark, something like the high-profile son fucking his much younger student. Three hundred years of dead Anderson ancestors breathe down my neck. My lungs burn with the need for fresh air.
If they only knew what goes through my mind when I think of a certain student and the lines I’ve crossed already. How I should’ve reported her and her roommate a year and a half ago.
But in the end, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t ruin the future she described to me before—the one where a little girl would finally honor the memory of her mom, where she would go forth and travel the world and be an inspiration to others less fortunate. The future where a beguiling woman risked everything because her heart was too big, too empathetic, such that she couldn’t bear to disappoint her roommate’s dying mother, because Millie understood how it felt.
Just like how she understood me.
“It’s the right thing to do.” Her words float to the forefront and a fresh torrent of flames burn my insides.
No. She’s a cheater, no matter her intentions. All useless excuses. I knot my hands into fists and attempt to even out my ragged breathing.
If they only knew how filthy and dark the inner recesses of my mind are.
But I still want her and, like the fucking selfish bastard I am, I also want my fucking dreams, even if I can’t find a way out of the family trust right now.
“Son, what do you say?”
My lips twitch and I clench my jaw. There’s no other answer. “Fine, but I hold you to your word, Jacob.”
I’m well and truly fucked.
“In this class, there are no exams, no quizzes,” I announce to the group gathered in the darkened classroom, a PowerPoint presentation displayed on the screen behind me.
There’s a rumbling of excitement amongst the students, clearly excited at the prospect of not needing to study.
“Instead, you and your group mates will be tasked with developing a corporate whistleblower policy in the summer quarter, a leadership training plan in the fall, evaluating your policy against a ‘plucked from the headlines’ case in the winter, and evaluation and final presentations in the spring. The lectures will also include JEAP committee meetings, in which we’ll preside over real-life cases within NYUC and come up with recommendations for the Ethics Committee. This is heavy on real-life education for you to apply the theories you’ve learned over the last several years.”
My eyes sweep the room, noting the students rapidly typing on their laptops. Teaching seniors in the honors program has its advantages—folks appear more focused and serious about their work.
I try not to notice her.
And fail miserably.
Because it’s impossible. Even in a room so dark, I can barely make out the faces of the students below the stage. But she glows brightly from within, beckoning all to look at her.
Her magic makes me weak.
