Page 106 of When Hearts Collide
Every beat. Every thump. Every flutter.
Only for her.
Chapter 41
Dear Ryland,
The last few days have been some of the happiest days of my life. I know our circumstances haven’t changed. You still have your responsibilities to your family and we are still forbidden in the eyes of the public. But I feel you softening with every warm gaze you give me in class, the trail of your fingers over mine as I hand my work to you. The way you kiss me and hold me in your arms like I’m your peace.
I know you’ll have moments of uncertainty and I’m prepared for it. After all, it’s hard to overcome years of upbringing, tricking you into thinking a certain way.
But life is not limiting and has many avenues and possibilities.
Someday, I’ll convince you we have all the tomorrows in the world, and the skies will not fall because we are together.
You’re not my prison. You’re my heaven.
Love, Millie
PRESSING THE HEAT PAD above my lower abdomen, I wince and fail to keep a neutral face during my video chat with Belle and Taylor.
“Dude, you look kinda green, Millie,” Taylor unhelpfully supplies as she takes a sip of…is that carrot juice? My stomach turns at the revolting sight.
Grace slides her arm around my shoulders and answers for me, “It’s that time of the month for Millie, poor thing, and she ran out of painkillers. I’ve sent Steven for some of those extra strength ones. He’ll be back soon.”
“Do you want anything to eat? Hot tea or your favorite gummy bears?” Taylor frowns.
I shake my head. I’ve lost my appetite completely.
“Are you sure you’re still up for The Ball, Millie? You don’t have to go.” Belle brushes her hair to one side as she takes a sip from a ceramic cup.
The glittering lights of the Eiffel Tower are in full view outside the window of her hotel room. Her family has opted to go to Paris for the holidays, to celebrate her grandmother’s eightieth birthday instead of attending the infamous Christmas Ball at The Orchid.
I nod as another flash of pain carves through me, and I take in deep breaths. My periods have been horrific since my early teens, and there were days when I used to be so sick I could barely get out of bed because I’d be too nauseated and dizzy, the throbbing in my abdomen too unbearable. Those were horrific days. Later, after a checkup with my gynecologist, I learned I had dysmenorrhea, the medical term for painful periods.
In the recent year or two, after I got on birth control, the pain has lessened to a point I can resume normal activities provided I take extra strength ibuprofen and don’t over-exert myself, but I didn’t realize I ran out when the pain hit this morning, and I’m once again reminded how awful it is to be a woman.
“I’ll be fine, girls. I promised Adrian I would show up and mingle with a few folks for him now that my relationship with him is out in the open. He’s taking Emily to the Maldives. He never takes any time off and so this vacation means a lot to him. I just need to show up for a few hours, put on a smile, and chitchat. I’ll be fine once Steven comes back with the meds.”
Plus, he’ll be there.
Ryland mentioned a few days ago, after he doled out another intense orgasm in the back of his town car when we headed back to his apartment after class, he’d be at The Ball with his family, as usual, for Christmas.
He held my eyes, his gaze softened after the throes of sex, and whispered, “I’m sorry I can’t spend Christmas with you.”
He didn’t need to say anything more. I understood. After all, he couldn’t really invite me to The Ball with him or introduce me as his woman to his family.
We belong in the shadows. An illicit secret. The brightest flame shining in the darkest hours of the night, always threatened by the brightness of the encroaching dawn.
My heart clenches at the thought. I want more. So much more.
But if I’m going on behalf of my brother, that’s a different story, right?
“You need to tell me how The Ball is,” Belle says, drawing my attention back to her.
“Why have you never been before? For me, I was trying to keep my relationship with Adrian under wraps, but your family is in high society.”
Belle rubs a delicate hand over her elfin face and shrugs. “I’m never one for all those fancy shindigs, fake smiling, and brownnosing. That’s what The Orchid is to me, anyway, before you girls—a lot of rich people trying to outshine each other, gossiping, and everything. The amenities I’m sure are nice, but I don’t really need them. I prefer to spend time doing things I truly enjoy.”
