Page 51 of When Hearts Ignite
Steven swallows and continues, “This is out of my hands, but I just found out the three offers were to be given to others. This was a decision made by people above me.”
“But I need the job, Steven. I need…” The large signing bonus. My voice trails off, leaving the last sentiment unsaid as a burning sensation appears behind my eyes. Never show men your fear. Nothing will change. And I don’t want him to feel sorry for me. But the betrayal hits deep.
Heaving in a shaky breath, I look up and whisper, “How could you?”
He flinches at whatever he sees on my face. I grit my teeth and look away.
“I’m going to give you the best recommendation possible. I can call up a few folks to see if there’s an entry level position somewhere for you.”
His words pick up in volume. He sounds desperate, frantic even. “Next year, one of our fall offers will be to you, and I’ll make sure you get an extra bump on the signing bonus. Grace, everything will work out, and I—”
I hold my hand up, my eyes blinking rapidly as the implications of this slowly sink in. The loan shark payment. The eviction. Taylor’s dream. Everything that was supposed to be solved by the offer. Now all my plans are burned to a crisp and suddenly I don’t know what to do anymore. My lungs are squeezed in a vise and I choke in a deep breath, then another.
It’s okay, Grace. We Peytons will find a way to get out of this. We don’t need to rely on another man’s charity. There are still a few months left before the loan is due. Maybe Steven can come through with recommendations, maybe things aren’t so dire.
My mind swirls with chaos as my breathing quickens into pants.
“Grace?” Steven’s voice sounds worried, but I can’t bring myself to look at him.
He stands up and walks around the desk, leaning down and wrenching my hands away from abusing my shirt. His expensive cologne of the ocean and leather wafts to my face. His palms feel warm and safe.
Illusions. All of it.
Looking at him through my blurry vision, I want to lash out, to scream, and to tell him I desperately need this job. My chest spasms in pain, and while my mind tells me it’s not his fault if the regret radiating from his being is any indication, my heart feels otherwise.
Utter and complete betrayal.
It feels like it has been stabbed a thousand times and the perpetrator is trying to stitch it up, but I’m the one bleeding at his feet.
It’s always the woman.
Letting out a ragged sigh, I swallow the pins and needles in my throat and return his gaze. His eyes are dim with concern, his jaw tense, his hand still clasping mine, his thumb tracing soothing circles on it.
“I-I can’t say I’m not disappointed, because that would be a lie. But I know it’s not your fault…and I…” I release a deep exhale. “I understand. Thank you for telling me the news in person.”
Steven heaves out a heavy breath, as if he were afraid I was going to say something else. He looks down at his hand on mine, his thumb still grazing my skin in a reassuring pattern.
He swallows, his throat rippling. “Grace, I swear, I’ll make this up to you, I’ll—”
“Mr. Kingsley, do you mind if I return to my desk?”
Even though my rational mind knows it’s not his fault, my battered heart doesn’t want to hear anything else from him. Because deep down, an insidious voice is asking, couldn’t he have done something? He’s a vice president.
I need to get away, to breathe and process everything without him being next to me.
I don’t want him to see me cry.
Steven lets go of my hands and his hands curl into fists as he slowly steps away. “Very well. I’m sorry, Grace.”
I scramble off the chair and walk toward the door.
“Grace.” His voice stops me as I pause by the doorway. I still can’t bring myself to look at him. “You still mean a lot to me, friend. I hope this doesn’t change anything between us.”
The word “friend” feels like a slap in the face.
I nod, unable to answer, and leave the room.
The day passed by in a blur and after management released the offers to the three lucky candidates, the rest of us got to go home early. Next week will be the last week of the internship. Steven was trapped in his office the entire day, and I didn’t get to see him when I left.
