I look between him and Jason as they carefully transfer our precious baby into Caleb’s arms. How long have they been in cahoots about this?
“Man, I wish I could raise one eyebrow,” I say, pushing myself up, to march over and take Jacob back. “I would raise it so hard right now.”
“You’re cute when you’re outnumbered and overruled.” Jason hoists me into his arms. “Princess, I know this is hard, and you have a lot of feelings about it, but I can’t let this anxiety rule your life. I promise you, Jacob will stay safely right here while we get you some fresh air,” he says, kissing me before he carries me downstairs behind Caleb and Jacob in some weird, royal-family-like procession.
“We’ll take good care of him for you,” Suzi promises from the kitchen, waving us off as we head down the hallway past the freshly hung portraits I painted of our boys. “He’ll be right here when you get back.”
“Back? We’re not just going outside? In the yard.” I start to panic and claw at Jason, so I can see where Jacob is being taken. “Where am I going? He’s too little.”
Jason carries me into the garage, shuts the door, and presses me to the wall with his body. He settles his hand against my throat and adds pressure while he kisses me so softly it confuses my brain. “Easy, Princess,” he purrs against my lips. “Everything’s okay. I have it under control. Trust in me.”
The command overrides my alarm, and a calm nudges at me, ready to be received if I obey. My belief in him is fundamental, and my response is automatic. I stop fighting.
“Good girl,” he whispers against my skin. “Nice and mellow. Nobody’s taking our precious baby away, I promise. He’s with our family, and every single one of them loves you both. Everybody’s safe. Everybody’s loved. And my princess needs to remember that I am by her side and that I will never let history be repeated. Do you fucking hear me?”
I can’t talk past the pressure on my throat, but I don’t want him to take it away. It’s giving me so much fucking comfort right now. I nod as best I can.
“You trust me?” His voice is steady, solid.
I nod again.
“Then believe me when I say it’s safe to take a break, Princess.”
A strangled sound escapes me, and he tilts his head to one side, as he studies my face. “It’s going to be hard, but we’re doing it. The longer you avoid it, the worse this will get. I’ll do my best to keep you distracted, to make it easier, and when we’re done making you feel better, I’ll bring you right back. That’s the plan, and there will be no deviations.”
“Make me better?” I croak, struggling against him. Whenever I’ve been told I need to get better, I’ve been sent somewhere, to be drugged and rehabilitated. I try to speak, but Jason sinks his weight against me and adds pressure at the sides of my throat.
The second he does, I moan from the blurry tingle of the head rush. I melt under his grip with a sniff. “I don’t want to be locked away in the psych ward.”
“Nobody will ever lock you away again, Princess. I promise.” He lifts my chin, so I can see his eyes are glistening with tears. “Not ever,” he repeats, gripping the back of my neck now and pinning me to his body. “This is our happiness, and I won’t let anyone fucking take it. All we’re doing is going for a ride. Taking a little swim in the lake. Making you come under the trees, the way we love. Then we’ll spend the evening with our family, grateful for all that’s good in the world. You don’t need to keep fighting. We’ve already won. Nothing else can touch us, and I will make sure you know it every single day, no matter what,” he pledges with his heart next to mine.
“Are you ready to be my brave princess? The one who came to find me? Who found her lost son? The woman who birthed joy to not one, but three different families, so they could know the gift of children? The woman who walked into my life and claimed me? Blessed me? There is no greater fucking woman, and I am desperate to prove it to you. Let me.”
I nod against his shoulder. “Okay.”
He holds me and rocks me in his arms a while longer before setting me on the back of his old dirt-bike.
He climbs on in front and pulls me in close behind him, making sure my arms lock tight around his waist. His skin is warm, and I press my face to his back, remembering how he used to ride bare chested and tanned like this, in a summer long gone. We’d go without helmets, to feel the sun on our faces as we took slow tours along the lake’s edge, to our favorite little cove around the bend, where we found peace and pleasure in each other’s bodies and learned what it was to be in love.
The engine purrs to life, and Jason hits the garage door opener. “What is this life for, Princess?”
“Living,” I reply, remembering the wisdom he once spoke.
“Damn straight. So hold on tight and live with me.”
