Cerberus sat on the massive chair like a proud king, wagging his tail at the sight of Hercules and Hermes. He lounged across it, too big to sit comfortably, and his paws were hanging off the edge.
“Cerby!” Hermes cried joyously, going down on one knee as Cerberus got up and raced towards him. Hercules bent down to scratch the dog’s ears when another, more desperate cry echoed off the rafters.
“Help me!”
Hermes didn’t recognize the voice, but he watched Hercules perk up at the sound. After another second of silence, they watched as a shaking, pale Eurystheus stepped out from where he had been hiding behind a broken bust in the corner. His eyes were wide with fear, and his hands trembled as he lifted an aged finger and pointed at Cerberus.
“Get that thing out of here!” he whined like a child, and Hercules rolled his eyes.
“You wanted me to bring him to you, didn’t you?”
“Y-yes,” Eurystheus wailed, “but now I want you to get him the fuck away from me!” Cerberus seemed to understand he was being addressed. He rolled over and sat up, baring his teeth soundlessly in the king’s direction. Eurystheus squawked and jumped behind the bust again.
“Good boy,” Hermes encouraged, giving him another pat. “Are you ready to go home?”
Cerberus barked once in response, and Hermes breezily waved a hand over the dog. His psychopomp magic encompassed the hellhound, and it vanished from the throne room.
Eurystheus, who hadn’t seen that from his hiding place, kept crying pitifully. Hermes turned to Hercules with a wide grin.
“I think your service here is done, Hercules.” He wrapped an arm around Hercules’s waist and pulled him close. Hercules smiled at him but said nothing, and there was a glimmer of sadness in his eyes.
“What’s wrong, pet?” Hermes frowned, studying his expression. “Aren’t you happy?”
“Of course,” Hercules nodded rapidly before he stopped and sighed. “I just… I don’t know what to do with myself now.”
“Oh.” Hermes’s eyes sparkled. “I can think of plenty of things to keep you busy.”
Hercules rolled his eyes playfully but shook his head.
“My immortality.” His voice hitched. “I don’t think Zeus is going to honor that bargain.”
“Oh,” Hermes sobered in mock seriousness, “about that… You’re probably right. I can’t imagine he took kindly to being castrated by Dionysus.”
“He what?” Hercules gawked, his face contorted in surprise. Hermes broke out into giggles at the sight of Hercules’s terrified expression.
“Ooh, yes, I haven’t had a moment to tell you about that yet. Although, I’m waiting to hear how it went down from Dionysus myself.”
Hercules blinked rapidly, looking at Hermes with the slightest hint of frustration marring his features. Hermes knew he was toying with Hercules. He already knew what would happen regarding Hercules’s immortality, but it was so fun to rile him up.
“That means I’m not going to become a god, Hermes. Do you know what that means?”
“You’re a god,” Hermes’s smile slowly spread across his entire face. “I did it myself. And I must say,” he exaggeratedly looked Hercules up and down, “I did a fantastic job.”
“What?” Hercules exhaled sharply like he’d been struck. “Hermes, what the fuck are you talking about?”
“Zeus made you a bargain regarding your immortality, and you held up your end. In the eyes of the pantheon, my pet, you’re entitled to a godhood. Well, technically, you’re a demigod. I don’t want to get caught up on who’s bigger or anything, but…”
“Hermes!” Hercules cut him off, rapidly switching between shock and awe. “When did you…?”
“After the snake bit you, when you were still unconscious on Kyllini,” Hermes spoke softly. “Normally there’s a process for these things, but you’d already earned it, Cerberus was wreaking havoc here by that point. I… I couldn’t imagine going another day without you, Herc. I had to. I had to.” Hermes looked away as tears built up in his eyes.
Hercules grabbed Hermes’s face and kissed him. Hermes let out a little noise of surprise before sinking into the embrace, wrapping his arms around the newly forged demigod. When Hercules pulled away, he looked elated.
“So… you and me?”
“Oh, the stories they’ll tell of us, pet.” Hermes leaned forward and pressed kisses all over Hercules’s face. “We’re going to have so much fun.”
“I trust you.” Hercules smiled. The admission caused Hermes’s chest to explode in a warm, gooey sensation.
“Well, if that’s the case,” Hermes grinned, marching out of the palace and tugging Hercules behind him, “I need you and Aeëtes to have a rematch immediately, for reasons.”
The soft breeze of Hermes’s magic started spinning around them, and for the first time in years, Hermes and Hercules looked in each other’s eyes and knew they’d finally come home.
