He huffs a laugh, "Healthy or not, you're stuck with me."
He kisses him softly before pulling away, "Go on your tour. Go to Australia. Live your dream. But stay true to yourself and me. Come back to me every chance you get. That’s the beauty of this relationship. I'll still have two other boyfriends here to keep me from going crazy without you."
He nods, "If it's not working for you at any point, I need you to let me know."
I hold up my pinkie in the air, "Pinkie swear."
He wraps his around mine, smiling at me.
I sit in the passenger seat of Cole's car, watching the cars and trees as they pass us by. Cole puts his hand on my knee, stopping it from bouncing.
"Are you sure you want to do this?' he asks me.
We're halfway through the forty-five-minute drive to Hannah's parent’s house to pick up Connor. I can't avoid Cole’s son if I want a long-term relationship with him. It’s been almost a month since he was born, and it’s time to face that head-on. Over this month, the two of us have been moving closer and closer to where we were before. The fact that he wasn’t upfront about everything still hurts, but I’m moving past it.
"Blake? Are you sure about this? I can always take you back home," Cole says again, bringing me out of my thoughts.
I shake my head, "No, you'll lose time with him if you take me back. I'll be fine."
He squeezes my thigh again, "I somehow don't believe you."
"Is this going to hurt? Probably. But I need to push through. He's just a baby. He's part of you, so I know he's amazing. I need to get over it."
"I will never tell you to get over it. I hurt you and destroyed us twice now. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I am delighted you've given it to me. I won't push you for anything you're not comfortable with."
I place my hand over his, "I'm okay."
We don't say anything else, riding in comfortable silence until we pull up in front of a large house. I would have called this a mansion before I moved in with Talon. Cole gets out and waits for me, wrapping my hand in his when I meet him. We walk up together, and he rings the doorbell.
Hannah answers the door with a scowl, "What is she doing here?"
Cole rolls his eyes, "She's my girlfriend, and she's going to spend the day with us. I want my son now."
"I'm not letting him go with you and her. It's against our agreement."
"It's absolutely not. You’ll have to drag me back to court if you want it to be. Do you want that?"
Hannah stands there silently. I hear her mom yell for her to let us in, so she steps aside. Cole leads me into their living room, where baby Connor lies in a bouncy seat, cooing at his grandma. She looks up and gives us both a small smile.
I'm frozen, staring at the miniature version of Cole. I knew they looked alike, seeing pictures after every visit, but I wasn't prepared to see the reality. His clear, sky-blue eyes stare at me like he's taking me in too. Cole was right, his nose is an exact replica of his dad’s. I meet Cole's gaze and give him a shaky smile, trying to reassure him I'm fine but probably failing. He squeezes my hand that he's still holding, and I squeeze back.
"Mom, tell him he can't take Connor with her."
The older woman stands and turns to her daughter, "Hannah, you are being unreasonable. Nothing in the agreement you both agreed to states she can't be present for Cole's visits. It is time for you to grow up. Your relationship with Cole is over. He has someone new. As a parent, you need to do what's best for your child, and right now, that is making sure he gets time with both parents. Legally, there’s nothing we can do about her lifestyle."
Her disapproval is clear, but she’s not arguing against Cole taking Connor, so I keep my mouth shut. Hannah is quiet, eyes wide in disbelief, staring at her mom.
"Fine, but if I find out she's a danger to him, I want her to stay away."
Everyone agrees with that. Hannah and her mom pack a backpack full of the supplies he’ll need as Cole picks Connor up and places him in the car seat. He takes the bag from them, and we return to the car. Cole clicks the car seat into place in the backseat, facing the rear window. He hangs some toys from the handle, squeezing them to make them squeak. He comes back around and takes the driver's seat.
"Look at you, all domesticated," I tell him with a smile.
He smiles back at me before his face goes sad. "He was supposed to be ours."
"No more. None of us can live in these what-ifs of the past anymore. We need to move forward with what life is. He's yours, and he looks perfect to me. It's time for us to quit looking back."
And just like that, I have accepted this new reality for myself and the family we have built.
