I tune back into my conversation with my parents. “First thing tomorrow morning, I am giving Cole a call. But you have to remember that his actions against me have nothing to do with whether he will be a good father or not.”
“That’s a very mature way of thinking,” Mom tells me.
We’re still about thirty minutes away from Dr. Wilson’s office, and all I feel is anxiety about the mess my life will be tomorrow. I look down at Emma's text.
Emma: You there yet?
Me: On the way. I promised Mom I’d tell Cole tomorrow.
Em: And the other guys?
Me: Them too. I’ll get it over with.
Em: Good. I’ll come over and hold your hand. You’ll be ok. Love you, send me pics of my nephew.
Me: Love you too. I will.
A noise has me looking up and seeing the blinding headlights.
They change my life forever.
They take away my father…and my son.
Chapter 13
Now
Isneak out of the house over an hour early the next morning, wanting to get there before the guys. I find my father’s grave in the cemetery and kneel before it. My heart is heavy. The years haven’t dulled the ache of missing him.
I wipe off some grass and leaves from my dad's headstone. "Hi, Daddy. I wish I had brought flowers with me, but I wasn’t thinking too clearly this morning. I know it’s been a while, but sometimes it hurts too much. I miss you. Mom is doing a lot better. You'd be so proud of how hard she's fought."
My voice is barely rasping out, and I'm having difficulty getting past the lump in my throat. I haven't visited the cemetery as often in the last couple of years. My father's body may be in the ground, but I like to believe his spirit is with me all the time. I can understand others needing a physical place to connect with their dead loved ones, but it's just not for me.
I hear footsteps behind me and turn to see Foster approaching. Talon and Cole are just behind him.
"Can I join you?" he asks, waiting for me to nod before kneeling on the ground next to me in his dark jeans. The other two remain standing.
I watch Foster read my father’s headstone, "I'm so sorry that I didn't come to his funeral. I wish I could've been here for you. I didn't even know about it until months later."
I shrug, "It was after…. everything. I didn't expect you to be there."
"Just because I wasn't your boyfriend anymore doesn't mean you weren't someone I cared about. Your dad was nice to me the few times I saw him. It was a terrible crash?"
"Yeah, head on. He was killed instantly. My mom's back was injured, and I was banged up. A broken femur and a pelvis. Neither of us is quite the same.”
"I'm so sorry. I wish I would have known," Talon adds, his voice solemn.
"Thank you," I tense when Foster’s attention turns to the headstone to the right of my father's.
Dominic Allen Knox
February 12, 2018
If love could have saved you, you would've lived forever
An image of a pair of baby feet is engraved into the stone. Foster looks back at my father's headstone again, probably noticing the date of death is the same. There are a million questions in his eyes when he looks up at me. I take a deep breath, trying to figure out how I want to tell this story.
With my eyes fixed on my son’s headstone, I start. I try to speak loud enough for them all to hear as I focus on the headstone. "I was pregnant the day of the accident. I lost my baby while I was unconscious from my injuries."
