Mom gives me a big smile when I turn to look back at her while leading Talon to the hallway that leads to the bedrooms. She must be desperate for me to settle down if she’s excited for me to be alone with a musician, albeit a famous one.
As soon as the door clicks behind me, Talon presses me against it and lays his lips on mine. Before my brain registers the kiss, he’s backing away from me.
“Sorry, I needed to do that before we talk, or I wouldn’t be able to concentrate,” he admits, and I take a good look at him. His black hair is sticking up everywhere, his eyes are puffy and red-rimmed, and he looks like he hasn’t slept.
“Are you okay?” I ask, concerned.
“Yes and no.”
“Well, that’s clear as mud. What’s going on?”
He takes a deep breath and plops down on the corner of my bed. “No Left Turn is breaking up.”
“Really? What’s happened?”
“The last few years have been hard, and we’ve grown apart. My life has been a mess with rehab and a divorce. Caleb had some issues with a stalker, making him miserable to be in the spotlight. Davis knocked up a groupie and is dealing with the repercussions. We’ve been fortunate and are grateful for our success, but it’s still fucked us all up in different ways. I want to move back home, and they both have other plans. Our contract is up with the record company, so now is the time to take a break and go our separate ways.”
“So, the band is just done? You guys are giving up?”
“Caleb wants to step back. Davis wants to try fatherhood with his girl. I can’t blame either of them.”
“Are you ready to be done with music though?” I ask him.
“I don’t know, Kitten. I can’t imagine my life without music. It’s gotten me through so much. But a failed marriage made me realize there are other things besides my career that I'm missing out on.”
“You’re an amazing drummer. You can always put together another band.”
“The thought of performing with another band feels wrong. Over the years, I’ve worked on my vocals. I know how to play other instruments.”
“Then go solo.”
He nods his head like he’s come to the same conclusion. “I might do that. I want to call the shots on my own. I don’t want to be gone away for months at a time.”
He looks up at me intently. “It took me too long to figure it out, but since I’ve been back, I’ve felt centered in a way I never was in California. This is home.” He moves closer, pinning me with his body again. “You’re home.”
I shake my head, trying to breathe and collect my thoughts. I don’t think I can do this again with him. The last time devastated me.
“Talon, I—”
He places a finger to my lips, “I don’t want to scare you, but obviously I have. I want you to give us another try at whatever place you’re comfortable with. My life was so fucked up, but I never forgot you. I’ve put in the work and I’m worthy of you, give me a chance to prove it. Would you give me that opportunity? I won’t fuck this up again, I promise.”
I stop breathing, making my brain feel like it’s underwater. I’m so scared of giving him another chance at tearing my heart apart again. “I don’t know. I’ve avoided relationships since you three.”
“Then just as friends,” he says.
“Okay, friends,” I agree.
“For now,” Talon stresses.
I walk Talon out to his fancy car, where he gives me a quick peck on the lips before getting in and driving away from my house. Before he left, we exchanged numbers, and he made me promise to spend time with him “as friends” soon. He’s making a trip back to LA to take care of some business this week, but I have a feeling I won’t be able to get rid of him once he's back.
I’ve been down this road before, and it feels wild to be here again. I don’t know if I’ll be brave enough to see this relationship through. I didn’t lie to Talon. I’ll try friendship even if I’m fighting my instincts to run the whole time.
When I return to the house, Mom is still sitting on the couch. She pauses the show she’s watching and waits for me to sit beside her. She must have a million questions about why a famous musician visited me at home.
I’ve never revealed any connection to Talon in my past. She doesn’t ask but stares me down and waits me out.
“So, I’m friends with Talon Ward.” I start, unsure how many details I want to share, but knowing I need to get this all out in the open. I’m not a teenager hiding my unsavory choices anymore. I’m a woman who needs to own her mistakes and move on.
