Page 89 of Beyond Expectations
Her words were soothing but they couldn’t change things.
Once I managed to calm down, I grabbed my glass and finished my drink.
“The problem is I’ve just pushed away the man I may have wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I… I… think I’m in love with him.”
“Oh, honey.”
I looked up and could see even she had tears in her eyes.
“What have I done?”
“When did you realize? Was it what happened tonight?”
“Yes… no… I’m not sure. You know after I told you what happened last night when Rhett came around and told me how he felt?”
“Yes, but I thought you’d said you didn’t feel the same as he did?”
“I didn’t. Well, I didn’t think I did. What he said came as a shock, never in a million years was I expecting him to tell me he loved me. It just really took me off guard. But then, after he left, and after I spoke to you, I went to bed and couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking back on the amazing times we had together. All the unexpected, surprising things he’d said and done. The way he looked at me, but most importantly, the way he made me feel. And the more I was thinking, the bigger the smile got on my face when I pictured his face. That was when I realized. I know it’s too soon, and I don’t usually let people in this quickly, this hard. But with him, everything is different. Most of the time, it doesn’t make sense. But that’s also what somehow makes it all feel right.”
“So why didn’t you just tell him?”
“I wanted to. And if it hadn’t been his father’s funeral, I would have. I’d have gone straight to him. But I knew it wasn’t the right time. Especially with how things had ended the last time I saw him. Then, when I went over to his tonight, I was going to tell him. I finally thought I’d have the strength to let it all out. But after what Verity said, I just couldn’t. Everything became messed up. I was suddenly panicking. She said she had discussed her feelings with his mother and agreed with her. And like I said, I’m sure she wouldn’t be the only one. How was I meant to tell him I loved him, too? What kind of position would that have put him in? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, knowing that my declaration could affect his relationship with his family. I’d be pushing him into a corner. I’d never want him to choose between a relationship with me or one with them. I’d never be able to forgive myself. So, I did the only thing I could. I told him we weren’t right for one another. I knew if I told him that, I wouldn’t be ruining his family.”
“But can’t you see? He told you that he loves you. You love him. He’s a grown man. You haven’t met his sisters yet, but they are so lovely. And I know that if they had the opportunity to meet you, they’d love you, too, especially as you love Rhett. And in regard to his mother, well, I honestly don’t think she’d want to see her son unhappy. Yes, she’s arrogant and stuck up, but she does love her children. And I’m sure Verity has been twisting and manipulating everything.”
“But his mother was off with me when I met her before. I know she was.” I said, not hiding the agony.
“She might have been, but you must remember that’s Rhett’s burden. Not yours. And it’s not that you’re pushing him into a corner. It’s you choosing love.”
I didn’t know what to do, so I sat and cried until I fell asleep.
I woke to the smell of coffee and food. My head felt fuzzy, and it took me a minute to realize I must have passed out on Ruby’s couch.
“Morning. How are you feeling?” Ruby asked tenderly.
“I’m not sure. What time is it?”
“It’s 9:30.”
Shit. I was late for work.
“Don’t worry. I called Sarah earlier and told her you had an impromptu meeting this morning and wouldn’t be in before lunch.”
I knew Sarah would be intrigued, especially as I was always on time. Nor did I ever have unexpected meetings first thing in the morning.
“Aren’t you working today?” I asked.
“Nope. I had boot camp Pilates at seven this morning and when I got back, you were still asleep. I knew you must have needed it. So, I called your office and decided to let you sleep in and make you breakfast. You can either borrow something of mine or grab something from yours on your way in.”
She plated up poached eggs with smoked salmon. To my surprise, my tummy was awake and grumbling. We sat and ate as she told me about the wake and how there’d already been a scene between Rhett and Verity. And how Julian was a mess.
“I’m sorry I’ve been such a shitty friend. How are things between you two?”
This time, she was the one looking lost.
“Things are so hot and cold. When times are good, they are amazing. But when they’re bad, it’s horrible. And it usually coincides with when he’s drinking a lot.”
“Do you think he has a drinking problem?”
