Page 12 of True to You
“Fine.” She looks at me, but the puzzling look is gone. She almost has a disappointed look on her face.
“Thanks.”
She gives me a curt nod and then turns around and walks away. I should feel relief, but as I watch her walk away, I just feel a wave of shame wash over me. I wish I could be as brave as her. Not care what people think of me. But I do care. I’ve grown comfortable with who I pretend to be at school, and I don’t know who I am if I’m not what I pretend to be.
Isaac and I already have plans with our mom for Sunday, so we both knew that we weren’t attending the last day of the convention. Even if we were, I probably would've worn a hoody all day and hoped I didn’t run into Izzy. So many emotions twist inside as we are out at lunch before mom drops us off at the airport. Shame. Embarrassment. Disappointment. All at myself. But replaying the events of what happened in my head, I know I would’ve done the same exact thing if it happened again. I just can’t let people find out.
“Honey, is everything okay?” my mom asks, as she takes a bite of her salad.
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” I lie.
“It was so awesome, mom,” Isaac starts again. He’s been talking about the cosplay contest nonstop. “There was a Groot and a Batman and a—”
“Okay, Isaac,” I snap. Both his eyes and mom’s shoot over at me. “Sorry.”
Thankfully, Isaac isn’t too hurt from me cutting him off. “You won, Matty. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, buddy.” I try to brush it off and take another bite of my burger.
Mom tries making small talk, while Isaac keeps going on about everything he loved about the convention. I know she can tell something is bothering me, but she never presses for any details.
We get to the airport and mom gives Isaac a hug, before embracing me.
“Honey, I know something’s bothering you.” She puts her hand under my freshly shaven chin.
“I’m fine.”
She lets out a small sigh. “Okay. Just remember, you can talk to me.”
“Mom, you’re three thousand miles away.”
“That doesn’t matter.” She snaps her hands to her waist. “Okay, well, maybe a little.”
“Seriously, I’m all good.”
She brings her hands up to my face, one hand on each cheek. It’s hard to believe she used to carry me, and now I tower over her by five inches. “My baby boy. I haven’t been there like I wanted to be these past few years. Just remember, be true to yourself. It makes everything else so much easier.”
I don’t know if the universe was somehow channeling through my mother, she’d been spying on us at the convention, or it was just mother’s intuition. But I close my eyes and swallow a ball of nerves.
“Thanks,” is all I say, wishing I could follow her advice but knowing I can’t.
Isaac plays on his iPad the entire flight home, just like he did the entire flight to New York, and I’m left to my own thoughts. I checked Izzy’s channel for any new videos, but she hasn’t posted anything yet. I don’t have any reason to think she won’t keep her word about not saying anything, but I don’t really know her that well. We have a class together, and that is pretty much the extent of it. Of course, I also know who she is because I watch her channel. But we aren’t friends. Friendly? Sure. Friends? No. So I’m just praying she is as honest and as she is cute.
