Instead, I found myself staring out the window towards St. James Park.
Where Lars had told me he loved me…
And where we’d fought before he disappeared.
There was a tap at the door. I looked over, startled –
And saw Alistair frowning.
Great.
Just what I need right now.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“I’m fine,” I said in a dull, very not-fine voice. “Why?”
“You look like you’re not sleeping. Or eating, for that matter.”
Again with the comments on my appearance.
“I’m fine,” I snapped.
He looked taken aback. “Alright – I was just concerned for you. If there’s anything I can do, I’m happy to help.”
Then he turned and left.
I immediately felt bad.
All of Alistair’s attempts in the past had been fairly innocent. More schoolboy than lecher.
And to be fair, Sean had told me I looked like shit just a few days ago when I went to Operations and –
Operations.
Three months before, Alistair had just been promoted from Assistant Director to Director of Operations in Europe.
If anyone could help me, it was him.
“Wait!” I called out as I jumped up from my chair.
He must have heard me because he turned back and met me at the door of the office.
“Yes?” he asked.
I hesitated.
Should I ask?
It wasn’t appropriate –
And it wasn’t kind, asking the man who had a crush on me to help me find my lover –
But I was desperate.
“…there is something…” I whispered. “But I can’t tell you here.”
Ironically enough, Alistair and I went to Nova Casa – the Portuguese restaurant where I’d blown him off – so we could talk in private. It was after the lunch crowd and before dinner, so we were two of a handful of people in the restaurant.
